Loves and stratagems

jerk-bitch-casbutt:

mitsukake:

raptorific:

The fact that wizard law enforcement found a dude’s finger and immediately closed the investigation, declared him dead, and concluded that the only possible explanation for why they only found a finger was that he was killed so hard that the rest of him was obliterated kind of speaks volumes about why nobody followed up when the genocidal serial killer just vanished.

The Ministry of Magic is fucking useless.

(via everandeverprolixity)

2creepychihuahuas:

illbeyourfavouritedrug:

heathyr:

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

my life changed forever when i found out the word “slang” was actually slang for “shortened language”

so slang is slang for slang

This isn’t true. The etymology of “slang”, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, which is the best place to go for etymologies, is unknown. It might have something to do with Norwegian forms in sleng-, “which exhibit some approximation in sense.” 

I has nothing to do with “shortened language”. If it had, it wouldn’t be an /s/ but a /sh/, because that’s one sound. When you say the word “short”, you don’t pronounce an /s/ and then an /h/. The <sh> represents one sound. 

(via newdawnfadesout)

I found a pun that works in both English and Spanish

jawnstacheinatrenchcoat:

dyr0z:

waiting-unknown:

theload:

ravenstagsmooches:

Where do cats go when they die? Purrgatory.

¿De dónde van los gatos cuando mueren? Purgatorio.

Dude it works also in Italian! ‘Dove vanno i gatti quando muoiono? Nel purGATTOrio’

Also in Portuguese.

“Para onde vão os gatos quando morrem? Para o PURR-GATOrio”

the Illuminati will use this pun to recruit across language barriers #confirmed

(via adcnsey-archive-deactivated2018)

The 60th Eurovision is just over a month away

aurordream:

So its a good time for everyone to educate themselves on the best bits of the contest’s history before it returns

Like the most important winners ever

The Russian Grannies

Don’t forget that Eurovison is the reason ABBA became famous

Then there was the time Ukraine absolutely lost its mind

The time Ireland lost its mind to an even greater extent and entered a puppet turkey

Frankly choose any British entry from the least 15 years and you’ll see the United Kingdom lost its mind long ago

There were the Greek fishermen singing about whisky

The Romanian man affectionally dubbed ‘gay opera dracula’

Iceland once entered a song that should have been the most obnoxious thing ever but was actually really darn catchy

That Turkish ship

After this song flopped the Czech Republic never entered again (though they are returning this year!)

And France sung a song entirely about moustaches

But its not all insanity, there are actually some genuinely beautiful songs sometimes - like Norway’s Alexander Rybak and his violin

This slower, genuinely beautiful song from the Netherlands

And of course, there is the Queen of Europe herself

Eurovison everyone

Eurovision

(via truthisademurelady)