Inspired by this fic by GraySkiesGayEyes, specifically the bit where Garak pronounces Bashir’s name as “Chulian.” I did end up changing it a bit based on how Garak and Dukat pronounce “Bajor.”
—
“Garak?”
“Yes, doctor?”
“Why do you never call me by my first name?”
Garak sat back with his cup of redleaf tea. “I believe it is a well-documented fact that I rarely call anyone by their given name.”
“Yes, but we’re dating,” Julian said. “It’s a bit different when two people are dating.”
“And yet you call me ‘Gah-rack,’” Garak said, purposefully mispronouncing his name like Julian did.
“I thought you didn’t want anyone to know your first name,” Julian said, the teasing lost on him.
“I don’t.”
“Well, there’s that mystery solved then,” Julian said as he speared a bit of asparagus with his fork.
“Indeed.”
Julian made a face and popped the bit of vegetable into his mouth.
“Does it really mean that much to you, my dear?” Garak asked as Julian stared off into the middle distance.
“Just seems a bit awkward,” Julian said. “Do you even know my first name?”
“Of course I do, doctor,” Garak said, insulted by the implication that he wouldn’t know something was so blatantly obvious.
“Say it then.”
“I’d prefer not to in such a public place,” Garak said, gesturing to the other tables packed with lunchtime diners. “After all, what would the station think if I began calling the chief medical officer by his given name in the middle of the replimat?”
“That we’re dating?” Julian said. He popped a bit more asparagus in his mouth. “Or that you’ve known me for five years. Both of which are true.”
“Nevertheless, I wouldn’t dream of demeaning you in public with such a blatant use of an intimate name,” Garak lied.
“Is that really what it’s like on Cardassia?” Julian asked with a skeptical look.
“More or less,” Garak said. Service class citizens, like Garak, rarely followed that rule of polite society, but that wasn’t something the dear doctor needed to know right now.
Julian narrowed his eyes at Garak. “You’re hiding something,” he said.
“My dear doctor,” Garak said with a smirk, “I’m always hiding something.”
—
Garak gripped the sides of the sink until his knuckles turned grey. He could do this. He was a former member of the Obsidian Order. He spoke Klingon. He looked into the mirror in his refresher, calling to mind Dr. Bashir’s face. “Chulian.”
It still wasn’t right. He knew that the “j” sound was hard for Cardassians to pronounce. There was no “j” sound in their culture. Sometimes Garak wondered if a “j” sound were even possible with Cardassian anatomy.
Yet, he would try anything for his dear doctor.
“Zulian,” he said into the mirror. He frowned and played the audio file he’d surreptitiously recorded of the doctor saying his name.
“– that I’m Julian Ba–,” the doctor’s voice said before he cut the audio.
“Thulian,” Garak said, trying to work out that “j” sound. Somehow, he’d made it worse, despite that being roughly the correct tongue placement from what he’d noted when Julian had said his name. “Dulian. Zhulian.” That was almost it. “Zhulian,” he said again, this time trying to infuse it with a bit more confidence. It still didn’t sound quite right, but it was very close. “My dear Zhulian,” he said, wishing his partner had an easier name to pronounce. He played the audio clip again, cutting it down so it was just one word.
“Julian,” the recording said.
“Zhulian,” Garak repeated.
“Julian.”
“Zhulian.”
—
Garak arranged a dinner date in his quarters as the time to show off his mastery of Julian’s name. He was fairly sure he had gotten it down at this point. He’d certainly practiced enough.
“Is it alright if I call you ‘Elim’ in here,” Julian grouched the moment he entered Garak’s quarters.
“Of course, Zhulian,” Garak said from where he was setting the table.
“What?” Julian asked.
“I said ‘of course,’” Garak said, wondering just how badly he’d butchered the name.
“No, the other bit,” Julian said, a smile creeping over his lips.
“Other bit?” Garak echoed as he set down a fork.
Julian gave Garak a frustrated look. “The part that’s my name.”
“Zhulian?” Garak asked.
Julian’s eyes lit up and he pressed his lips together in an attempt not to laugh.
Garak glared at him. “My dear doctor, you can hardly blame me for–”
“Wait, is that why you never call me by my first name?” Julian interrupted, somehow looking even more excited. “Because you can’t pronounce it?”
Garak raised his chin, fixing the doctor with an imperious look. “I can pronounce it perfectly well, thank you.”
“C’mon then,” Julian said. “Say it.” He threw his arms wide in response to Garak’s glare. “It’s only fair after you roasted me for not being able to pronounce ‘La-kah-ree-ahn’ correctly.”
“I don’t recall holding you over a fire,” Garak said, despite knowing exactly what the idiom meant. He turned and walked towards the replicator. “Speaking of fires, I was thinking some grilled–”
“No, no, no, no. You’re not getting out of this that easily,” Julian said, walking over to stand by Garak. “Say ‘Julian.’”
“I believe I just did,” Garak said as he typed in the code for some grilled salmon with yamok sauce.
“No, you said ‘Zhulian,’” Julian said. “Like… Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever heard that sound at the front of a word before. Usually it’s in the middle like ‘abrasion,’ ‘incision,’ ‘intrusion…’”
“Yes, that last one seems most apt. If you wouldn’t mind moving, my dear,” Garak said as he took the plates of steaming salmon from the replicator.
Julian ignored the jab. “Just one more time,” he said, walking backwards so Garak could put their plates down. He held up one finger. “Say it one more time and then you can call me ‘doctor’ forever.”
“Are you willing to commit to that arrangement?” Garak asked as he sat down.
“Well, no,” Julian admitted as he sat down across from him. “But I do want to hear you say my name again.”
“And why should I when my saying it produces such ridicule?” Garak asked as he picked up his knife and fork. He speared a bit of his fish with his fork and began cutting it with deadly precision. “Had I known this is what I was getting myself into I never would have bothered to practice.”
Julian’s eyes widened. “You practiced saying my name?” he asked.
Garak rolled his eyes. “The ‘j’ sound is not naturally found in Kardasi,” he began. “So I required some–”
“You practiced saying my name,” Julian repeated, his tone soft and slightly disbelieving. “Just because I wanted you to say it?”
Garak raised an eyebrow ridge at him. “Is it not standard Federation practice to do things for one’s partner?” he said before putting a bite of fish into his mouth.
“Well, I mean… Yes, but…” Julian reached across the table to take Garak’s left hand in his, maneuvering around the knife to do so. “I didn’t know saying it was hard for you,” he explained. “I just thought you…” He looked down at his plate. “I thought you hadn’t bothered,” he said. He squeezed Garak’s hand. “That’s how it generally goes with ‘Bashir.’ People just pronounce it however they like and don’t really try to get it correct. ‘Subatoi’ is the only part of my name people get right, and most people don’t even know that part.”
“I see,” Garak said. He set down his knife and rotated his hand so that he was grasping Julian’s. “And that’s why you wanted me to call you by your given name?”
“Well, no. It just seemed off that you only call me ‘doctor,’” Julian admitted. “But now that I know why–”
“Doctor, please,” Garak said, removing himself from Julian’s grip. He pointed at his plate with his fork. “If we could drop the subject long enough to have dinner, I’d much appreciate it.”
“Right. Of course.”
“But…” Julian said just as Garak was about to take another mouthful of fish. “I could also teach you how to say my name. Probably. I can try at least. And in return, you can teach me how to say something important to you.”
“Garak,” Garak said without missing a beat.
“Sorry?”
“My name. You pronounce it ‘Gah-rack,’” he said. “That’s not how it’s pronounced on Cardassia. Or this station. Or really anywhere in the Alpha Quadrant that I’m aware of.”
Julian flushed crimson. “Right. How long were you going to keep me in the dark about that?”
“I believe I have pronounced my name several times in front of you,” Garak said as he delicately cut his fish. “It’s hardly my fault if you chose not to pay attention.”
Julian rolled his eyes and cut himself a bit of salmon. “Fine. We’ll practice each other’s names after dinner,” he said. “Happy?”
“Perfectly,” Garak said, “my dear Zhulian.”
(via tirlaeyn)
